Screen time and relatives with opposing values

Screen time and relatives with opposing values

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I've been mulling over this one for a while. Many wrote in to the Continuum blog with their suggestions and unhappiness with relatives who are not on the same Continuum Concept wavelengths. Looking back over raising our 5, there were many times we'd encounter grandparents and others who were definitely not on the same planet as us as far as values, i.e., home birth, extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, homeschooling, you name it!

But, without condoning it, we allowed it. Yes, the kids came home hyped up on Grandma's sugar cookies and begged for a TV like Grandma's, but we stuck to our beliefs at home. I think it is far more important than giving a list of no-nos to outside family or alienating them by restricting contact with our children, that we showed love and compassion to others who were different from us. As the children grew older, we could explain these differences and they could understand where our empathy grew from. Our living example of not judging others taught them far more than any legalistic lists could. There could be more un-peace in that than living our beliefs, often without using words. We didn't want it to be us against the world. 

We let them play with neighborhood children later, which presented many different cultures including the American pro-military stance. I didn't tell them they couldn't play with children from those families, but I did draw the line and didn't allow war toys or guns on our property. I had a little lecture I gave to the new kids about leaving their weapons in our mailbox at the end of the driveway where they'd be safe until they returned home. The kids complied. Perhaps it was their first introduction to pacifism. 

We didn't have smart phones or computers either, so screen time wasn't an option. They had them in high school, but it wasn't some forbidden fruit that they went wild with. They have all grown into extremely different, creative, loving adults. Ultimately they know we did the best we knew how, mistakes and all.